I must be too annoying 4 u.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize