I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
