Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
