Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
