ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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