I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
