I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
