First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
