Swine flu is the new snow day.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
