Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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