so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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