Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
