To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
