Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
