I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
