i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize