Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
