Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
