wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
