a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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