I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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