we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
