I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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