a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
