are you still at the devil's house?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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