She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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