you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
