Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize