"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
