I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
