She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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