Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize