I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
