Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
