If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
