Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
