With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I need a beard to bite.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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