i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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