It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
