hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
