You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
