the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize