So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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