wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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