seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
