he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We had to coat check the pizza.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
