i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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