I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
