Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
