nut hugger
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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