My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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