i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You ate ashes out of my bong
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
