I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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