You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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