you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
