we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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