vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize