Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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