Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
