oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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