I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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