Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
