Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
