and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I enjoy the company of your penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
