I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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